FAQ's
You may have checked the list of signs and symptoms and you are still not sure. Often when all the signs are evident and even when a parent or spouse sees evidence of the drug in the home, clothing, pockets or motor vehicle they still feel that they have insufficient proof of substance abuse.
Family members often doubt the facts and believe the rationalisations of the addicted person. Denying that there is a problem is part of the problem. Family members and addicts alike minimize and or deny the problem. Whether this is because of a sense of guilt or shame, or a flight response to fear is not important. Truthfully, most, if not all, families respond in this manner when first confronted with the prospect that their loved one is abusing drugs or other substances. To continue in denial is going to worsen the problem.
Understand that you are not alone in this. Millions of families have faced this situation. To effectively assess the problem you will need to gather some facts. Get information about drugs and addiction. Find out about treatment options. Speak to a counsellor at a treatment facility about your suspicion and ask for advice. To deal with the problem you need to understand it, define it and prove that it exists. Develop a list of solutions and options. Get as much advice as you can. The only sure way to prove your suspicions is to do a random drug test (something ALL families should be doing regardless of evidence of a problem). Hard facts help to keep everything ‘real’. Saliva tests are easy to perform and have less chances of tampering.
Speak to someone who has a loved one in addiction. Attend a support group for families with addicted loved ones. Confronting the problem can be very difficult as you may also have to confront your own fears, doubts, anger, shame, etc. The support of people who understand and have ‘been there’ is vital. The swift response of a responsible family member may prevent early stages of drug abuse from developing into full blown addiction and death.
Drug abuse can easily lead to drug addiction. Because of the highly addictive properties in street drugs there is a huge risk of physical and psychological addiction to the drug.
The term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences to the individual’s health, mental state or social life.
Physical dependence on a substance is defined by the appearance of characteristic withdrawal symptoms when the substance is suddenly discontinued. Psychological dependency is a dependency of the mind, and leads to psychological withdrawal symptoms. Addiction can in theory be derived from any rewarding behaviour, and is believed to be strongly associated with the dopamine system of the brain’s reward system.
“The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) has categorized three stages of addiction:-
Preoccupation/anticipation, binge/intoxication, and withdrawal/negative affect. These stages are characterized, respectively, everywhere by constant cravings and preoccupation with obtaining the substance; using more of the substance than necessary to experience the intoxicating effects; and experiencing tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, and decreased motivation for normal life activities.”
Substance abuse refers to the overindulgence in a drug or other chemical leading to effects that are detrimental to the individual’s physical and mental health, or the welfare of others.
What often starts as drug or substance abuse can easily result in a compulsive and uncontrollable addiction.
Your loved one may be abusing substances and because they say that they can stop whenever they want to, you may be reluctant to seek help for them or yourself. Families are generally not qualified to diagnose or effectively treat their loved ones. Abuse of substances has major physical, mental and psychological side effects whether the person is addicted or not.
Waiting for your loved one to reach their ‘rock bottom’ in a hope that they will ultimately acknowledge that they have a problem and be willing to ask for help is a huge gamble. Cravings for drugs and drug seeking behaviours persist despite devastating consequences caused by substance abuse.
Prolonged substance abuse causes extreme damage to the body and especially the brain. Substance abuse can lead to criminal activities, prison and death. The chaos caused by their addiction is often felt far more intensely by the family (parents, siblings, and spouse) than the addicted person.
Two of the primary reasons people seek drug treatment are because the court ordered them to do so, or because loved ones urged them to seek treatment. Scientific studies have shown that those who enter drug treatment programs in which they face “high pressure” to confront and manage their addiction can benefit from treatment, regardless of the reason they sought treatment in the first place.
Understand that most addicted persons:
- Claim that they can stop abusing substances whenever they want to and that they are not ‘addicted’
- Claim that they hardly use at all. Minimise the problem
- Blame stress, other people or situations for their substance abuse
- Claim to have their own plan to stop and do not need treatment
- Justify, rationalize and manipulate
- Will abuse the love of people to get what they want.
Stop ‘cutting them slack’. The family cannot continue to absorb the consequences of a loved one’s addiction indefinitely. The damage to the non-addicted family members is devastating. The family also needs to heal and recover from the affects of living with an addicted loved one.
Putting the negative choices of the addicted person above the needs of the family is reckless. Tolerating their substance abuse with all its negative consequences will NOT help them or the family.
The family has a choice, whereas the addicted person is a slave to their compulsion. Families must make unity a priority and avoid division and strife which is often caused by the stress of living with an addicted person.
Caring, loving families will insist on treatment.
There are several treatment options for those in addiction. They vary in cost, duration, in-patient or out-patient treatments, and offer a variety of different therapies.
The type of treatment will depend on the age of the individual, the duration of their substance abuse, the drug or substance that they abused, the extent of their substance abuse, other behavioural disorders, compulsions, etc.
In many cases the family simply cannot afford the services of a rehabilitation centre. Families are not qualified or equipped to treat their loved one or to handle the effects of their loved one’s addiction. The best option for the family, in this case, is to strengthen the family and get information about addiction and recovery from addiction. The family needs support from churches and support groups.
Celebrate Recovery support groups are running in several churches in South Africa. This is 12 step support group which offers support to families and any person with hurts, hang-ups, or habits. ‘Tough Love’ has several support groups around South Africa. Our ‘Empowered’ seminars run regularly in Gauteng and are available in other provinces on request from churches, support groups, and other organisations. Community-based recovery centres such as Mighty Wings Life Centre are low cost and generally offer recovery services at very low costs
Addiction is a chronic relapsing but treatable condition. Treatment of addiction entails various therapies that assist the addicted person to manage (not cure) their condition. Recovery from addiction is a continual process. Abstinence from the drug or substance is not a cure. Destructive behaviours need to be recognised and changed.
In recovery new ways need to be learned of how to delay gratification, and how to manage triggers and cravings. Old friends and places need to be avoided. Association with the culture of addiction needs to end.
Every aspect of the individual’s life has to change. Addiction impacts every level of the person, therefore recovery from addiction must be holistic (physical, spiritual, mental, emotional, social, etc.) Structure, routine and self discipline are an integral part of recovery.
In addiction the drug was their ‘god’. A spiritual ‘awakening’ is vital to recovery. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ and a new life in a Christian culture with the support of churches and caring, informed supporters is a great way to start and sustain recovery.